organizing an accident is a weekly newsletter where I leak home demos of unreleased songs, first draft lyrics, thoughts on the creative process, & dispatches from music life in Paris.
Listen to “What a Lovely Day to Lose It All” (demo):
This song was written on December 23, 2020
Greetings from Paris,
Today is the one year anniversary of organizing an accident !
When I launched this newsletter one year ago, the premise was simple: I would finally begin sharing the large catalog of songs I had accumulated throughout years of writing. All the songs I had not released on Spotify or deemed worthy of an album. Songs written for and with others. Songs sung under secret pseudonyms I’d once needed as permission to venture into new territory.
The project would be low effort—the songs were already written and demoed, so all I had to do was publish an email once a week. But, as with many creative endeavors, over time it began to disclose its unforeseen purpose, exposing the real reason I had needed to do this project in the first place.
Not only was I gaining fresh perspective and outside feedback on material I had once held captive, but I also quickly found myself spending hours each week writing essays and opening up about my life and process in a way that was both unplanned and glaringly vital. It turned out that it was not just the songs that needed to be let out of their cage.
Since starting the newsletter, my life has changed dramatically. I wrote a new album. I accidentally cut my teeth as a prose writer. I lost my mom at the moment that I myself became a father. In that span of a year, I’ve shared 65 home demos of unreleased music, accompanied by essays, first draft lyrics, weekly album and book recommendations, and more. It’s become a home for me to express myself in the formats and at a rate that suits my particular output—not that of any algorithm, platform, or record company.
One year in, I cannot say for sure how long this precise model will endure, but I look forward to using this space in the future for answering other as yet unheard calls of the soul and for organizing all manner of artistic “accidents”. As for now, it continues to serve a grand purpose in my life and has helped to maintain a certain structure when my world was collapsing around me or sweeping me away in a deluge of joy. ◍
And with that, I hope you enjoy this week's demo, “What a Lovely Day to Lose It All”—a tune written at the end of 2020, that most peculiar year.
I’ve also compiled a short list of greatest hits from the newsletter that you can read and listen to below. As always, scroll down for lyrics and recommendations. Thanks for listening.
With love,
Ryan
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From the vault
What I’m listening to this week
What I’ve been reading
Stephen King - Misery
Check out my previous demos and writing via the Substack archive + find my official music releases on Spotify, Apple, or your platform of choice. Stalk me across socials at @thisryanegan.
With love,
Ryan
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