Stung by absurdity
№95 — Feathered & Tarred w/ ALB (demo)
organizing an accident is a weekly newsletter where I leak home demos of unreleased songs, first draft lyrics, thoughts on the creative process, & dispatches from music life in Paris.
Listen to “Feathered & Tarred w/ ALB” (demo):
This song was written on October 26, 2022
This is demo leak #95
Greetings from Paris,
When I first moved to France, it was after years of traveling there and getting to know the language, culture, and social circles of my future wife. While I was lucky to call Paris a second home, in the beginning, I had no bearings on the music scene or its participants, something I would need to remedy if I were to justify leaving behind my great band, community, and music life in New York.
During the first six months after arriving, I did just that. I met lots of musicians and industry folks, put together a band, and, alongside my friend Desmond Myers, sold out our first show together in March 2020. And then, the curtains closed.
It’s the same old story that all performers lived through during the pandemic chapter of our future memoirs. For me, the experience was marked in particular by the fact that I did not want to lose momentum after restarting my project in a new town, not to mention a new life generally.
In the months that followed, I made the most of it and ended up loving the vacation from real life. It was also during that period that I began to see more clearly that maybe performing was not my main calling, and just part of my story. It was evident that my desire to write was manifestly stronger than any need to perform the same songs over and over again.
When Paris began to re-open and we took to parks and café terraces, spring became summer, and the social part of my brain began to slowly function again. At a friend’s birthday that summer, I met
(and his twin brother ), two American artists living in Paris. Until that day, I had not realized the lack of anglophone connection in my life—or any connection for that matter—until hanging out and speaking English with guys I felt like I’d grown up with.Now some of my closest friends in town, Aaron and I have played together on a handful of occasions, as well as co-writing songs together. Today’s song (no. 95 in the organizing an accident series) is one that, if I remember correctly, we had to wrap early, leaving me to write lyrics and demo by myself back home. For this reason, I feel that it lacks some additional collaborative energy that might have benefited it, but that’s just the way it goes sometimes.
Here’s to many more songs together, Aaron.
Check out Aaron’s latest music releases here. He also has a newsletter where he shares illustrations and song demos—a bafflingly under-appreciated collection of work.
With love,
Ryan
“Feathered & Tarred” lyrics
Stripped bare with my heart
Under the wheel turning
Got nowhere to fall
Down on my knees
And laugh for eternity
Flipped out at the bar
You left me here burning
I’m feathered and tarred
It’s humbling
Yeah, I hear you perfectly
So hang me like an ornament
Or nail me to the door
Just tell me where the story ends
So I’ll know
‘Cause I’m here left in the cold
I’m starting to see
The cloud of smoke floating
I’m trapped like a bee
The windows closed
Stung by absurdity
You sigh like a scream
Caught in your throat, moaning
So pour me a beer
Nowhere to go
Yeah, do me the courtesy
Oh maybe I’m no born again
But nail me to the door
Don’t tell me where the story ends
Oh I know
‘Cause I’m here left in the cold
These lyrics were written in October 2022.
From the vault
What I’m listening to this week
What I’ve been reading
Jonathan Lethem - Chronic City
Check out my previous demos and writing via the Substack archive + discover my official music releases on Spotify, Apple, or your platform of choice. Find me on all socials at @thisryanegan.
Read the previous post.
The feeling of the Winter coming in America (paraphrased Gil Scott-Heron.) Always enjoy your posts.
Love this