Speaking in tongues
organizing an accident is a weekly newsletter where I leak home demos of unreleased songs, first draft lyrics, thoughts on the creative process, & dispatches from music life in Paris.
Listen to “Straight to Hell” (demo):
This song was written on February 11, 2021
This is demo leak #92
Greetings from Paris,
Few who know me or follow my work would coin me a pessimist. For all my faults, I maintain a deep-rooted and often naive hopefulness about the planet and its occupants. It makes daily life more pleasant. This, set against a backdrop of suffocating online cynicism and the wavering stability of Western democracies, has only made me dig my feet in further.
Could such optimism be thanks solely to coming of age with a means for expressing my fears, anxieties, and most dangerous thoughts? Had I not discovered the tools of songwriting and creative expression, might I also be taking to online platforms and real-world spaces to act out the ugliest of human instincts?
It's hard to say, but the result is telling. For years, I wondered if writing was enough—if repentance through song equaled genuine human connection or open dialogue. If projecting one's deepest regrets, emotions, or secrets through the prism of art could stand in for therapy. My conclusion: no.
That may seem obvious to someone who has not spent a lifetime communicating through music. Speaking in tongues. It took me years, but what I found was that by removing the pressure on the creative act to solve my problems, and more importantly, by opening myself to other modes of expression, I could break free from what was once an unsolvable puzzle.
Today’s demo is a song of acceptance, the voice of someone not seeking forgiveness but embracing their fate in standing against a corrupt world.
“Straight to Hell” lyrics
I’m going straight to hell
In a car full of infidels
What made me think
They’d listen this time?
The forecast is warm again
Guess I’ll go along with it
Don’t need no law and order
I just want to know
Where did I go wrong?
What road did I misjudge?
Steer me through the fog
That comes rolling in the morning
We lie because we’re young
And life just turns to the nothing
So I’m closing my eyes to the world
Then I’ll know I’m alive as it turns
Where do the drifters go?
Where crooks fall like dominoes
Ripe from the vine left swinging
Will you hear the morning bell?
When it strikes the tone
You’ll come running
Take all your prized possessions
And then take my hand
Where did I go wrong?
What road did I misjudge?
Steer me through the fog
That comes rolling in the morning
We lie because we’re young
And life just turns to the nothing
So I’m closing my eyes to the world
Then I’ll know I’m alive as it turns
These lyrics were written in February 2021.
From the vault
What I’m listening to this week
What I’ve been reading
Leonard Cohen - Let Us Compare Mythologies
Check out my previous demos and writing via the Substack archive + discover my official music releases on Spotify, Apple, or your platform of choice. Find me on all socials at @thisryanegan.
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