organizing an accident is a once-weekly newsletter where I leak home demos of unreleased songs, first draft lyrics, thoughts on the creative process, and dispatches from music life in Paris.
Listen to “I Can’t Afford To Love” (demo):
This song was written on December 10, 2019
Before I moved to Paris in September 2019, I had virtually no connections in the local music industry. So I spent a few months prior to the move researching venues, booking agencies, recording studios and musicians to work with upon arriving. One person I did know was Xavier Vayre, a studied jazz manouche guitarist—among other styles—and a talented artist and producer.
During my first days in town, I set up my studio in Saint Germain and began working on my music, as well as producing for other artists and setting up songwriting sessions with new friends and acquaintances. One of those early sessions was with Xavier, and within an hour, we had the skeleton of this song, now titled “I Can’t Afford To Love.”
The song could technically be considered a b-side from my album Soft Power, since I had intended to include it, but in the end, we never recorded a version beyond this original demo. It might have stood a chance if it weren’t up against about four other similarly melancholic ballads. Listening back, I’m pretty proud of the chorus and overall mood. Maybe I’ll revisit it in future recording sessions. ◍
From the vault
What I’m listening to this week
You can pay a visit to my previous demos and writing via the Substack archive + find my official music releases on Spotify, Apple, or your platform of choice. Stalk me across socials at @thisryanegan.
With love,
Ryan
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