Evolving, Returning
and the Unbearable Usefulness of Stage Fright
organizing an accident is a newsletter where I leak home demos of unreleased songs, first draft lyrics, thoughts on the creative process, & dispatches from music life in Paris.
Greetings from Paris,
Since the turn of the new year, I’ve been getting back onstage after a short hiatus from performing live. The experience has been humbling: ever since my move to France in 2019 and the pandemic of 2020, my gigging schedule has been steadily thinning out—a change that I’ve both welcomed and wrestled with.
For two decades, my identity has been defined by a marriage of songwriting and performance, so when I chose to step away from music altogether last year to focus on fatherhood and a new artistic project, the process was both rewarding and confusing.
In the end, things evolved as I hoped they would, and as they needed to. I found immense fulfillment in my detour from old routines, navigating new challenges, learning, growing, and eventually rediscovering the joy of making music.
Apart from my own music practice, I’ve been exploring new collaborations with musicians I respect a lot. It’s been illuminating. I’ve also now played three recent concerts in Paris, sharing the stage with great artists like DeVotchka and Mia Wray, among others. I’ve found returning to the stage to be exhilarating and stressful, battling a new performance anxiety I’m completely unfamiliar with. But that’s okay. I’m committed to learning whatever it is my body and subconscious are signaling to me, and once again happy to test out new material in front of different audiences—the best way I know to improve upon future releases.
As a thank you to those who continue to support organizing an accident with a paid subscription, you can now watch my full concert from March 9 at La Bellevilloise in Paris, featuring a set of all new music + a guest appearance from my good friend Tomer Lavie of TheLongoodBye. Scroll down for the video.
For those living in Paris, Tomer and I are throwing a free concert on Thursday, March 27 with our two projects, as well as Pampa Folks and some special guests. The event is in honor of the spring equinox and will take place at Centre Culturel (96 Bd de la Villette) with intimate performances from all three artists as well as various collaborations. I hope to see some of you there!
With love,
Ryan
What I’ve been listening to
What I’ve been reading
Byung-Chul Han - Non-Things: Upheaval in the Lifeworld
Check out my previous demos and writing via the Substack archive + discover my official music releases on Spotify, Apple, or your platform of choice. Find me on all socials at @thisryanegan.
Read the previous post.
Set List
What Lovers Are For
Life in a Band
Bound to Lose
On the Run
Everything We Ever Felt
Tears in Our Eyes
Oh Boy
Tired of Love