organizing an accident is a weekly newsletter where I leak home demos of unreleased songs, first draft lyrics, thoughts on the creative process, & dispatches from music life in Paris.
Listen to “Wallflower” (demo):
This song was written on April 16, 2021
This is demo leak #77
Greetings from Paris,
Summer has arrived, and I’ve just put my dad in a taxi to the airport after one week of tourism and quality time with Grandpa.
Among the things I’ve learned this week is the fact that I don’t visit Jardin du Luxembourg enough. I’ve also been reminded that eating out for a week straight takes a toll. Most importantly, I’ve learned, again, that living abroad allows for condensed, meaningful, and otherwise unlikely visits with loved ones that forge a new kind of relationship.
I’m happy to have spent the week celebrating my dad’s 71st birthday, taking him out for his first Fête de la Musique, paying a visit to Giverny and Monet’s gardens, and taking daily strolls around town with baby Otto.
Today’s demo is a song written and recorded in the spring of 2021, the result of a month-long stretch of daily songwriting. Written in the shadow of not-so-distant lockdowns and a renewed appreciation for solitude, it is a sort of introvert’s anthem and an ode to small-town life. ◍
“Wallflower” lyrics
I find my way out
Before I look in
To slip through the crowd
Without a footprint
I’ll play dead
Until I die
I always look like
Someone’s lost kid
And half the time
I kinda like it
‘Cause I get
A new place to hide
Wallflower
Look at me now
Been here so long
I’m decoration
Old coat of paint
You hardly change it
Here’s hoping
I catch your eye
I’ve saved my loving
For that one gal
Now they’re ringing church bells
In our hometown
And I’m glowing
‘Cause I’m her guy
Wallflower
Look at me now
These lyrics were written in April 2021.
From the vault
What I’m listening to this week
What I’ve been reading
David Grossman - A Horse Walks into a Bar
Shawn Coyne - The Story Grid: What Good Editors Know
Check out my previous demos and writing via the Substack archive + discover my official music releases on Spotify, Apple, or your platform of choice. Find me on all socials at @thisryanegan.
Read the previous post.